Friday, September 22, 2006  

I can remember straving in a
small room in a strange city
shades pulled down, listening to
classical music
I was young I was so young it hurt like a knife inside
because there was no alternative except to hide as long
as possible-
not in self-pity but with dismay at my limited chance:
trying to connect.

the old composers-Mozart, Bach, Beethoven,
Brahms were the only ones who spoke to me and
they were dead.

finally, starved and beaten, I had to go into
the streets to be interviewed for low-paying and
monotonous
jobs
by strange men behind desks
men withut eyes men without faces
who would take my hours
break them
piss on them

now i work for the editors the readers the critics

but still hang around the drink with
Mozart, Bach, Brahms and the
Bee
some buddies
some men

sometimes all we need to be able to continue alone
are the dead
rattling the walls
that close us in.

--bukowski

   [ posted  @ 2:15 PM ] [ (0) comments ]

brains...bad

It must be the mood
but the music has to be frantic
harsh, loud, all at once
you can't write it out on music sheets
it would be cluttered beyond comprehension
this music is more about feeling
less about hearing
it is chaos, anarchy
like being groped on a packed subway car
when the distortion fades
violation and remorse remain

yeah that is what i get for listening to the bad brains on the way to work. oh well, it was a beautiful drive. the beach was empty, aside from a few people walking around with nothing better to do. i wish that i could have joined them. it would have been nice and peaceful. better than having to go to class and to work.

i think i will stop at ruby's on the way back. grab a guinness and a little conversation with some locals. then back to the condo to sit on the porch and enjoy the cool air. it is just so pleasant to be alive when the conditions are such.

   [ posted  @ 3:05 PM ] [ (0) comments ]

reflections made on 9/11/06

Five years ago,
the world did not change.
Five years ago,
The United States of America rejoined the world.

We were struck on our ground
and with terrible results.
So much human life obliterated.

Five years ago,
I waved a flag, I felt like a par of something.
Five years ago,
I eventually asked "Why?"

The following five years,
each more confusing than the previous,
having provided few answers and raised more questions.

Five years ago, the world became real to me.
Now, I don't know how I feel.

   [ posted  @ 11:32 PM ] [ (0) comments ]

just a couple random shorts.

Life is consuming
and excreting.

People can give it more meaning,
and that is fine.
But to forget entirely, the basis,
is to be be as meaningless
as life.

-----

One step forward
in time
to say nothing of personal
progress.

The rest find it easy enough,
and they keep going.
They do it, and I percieve
only ease.

School-Job-House
connect the dots.
Smile.
Be filled with righteous anger.

I'm having some trouble
with all that.
It's bullshit.
I know it's bullshit.

   [ posted  @ 6:04 PM ] [ (0) comments ]

After not writing
it is good to write.
It is going home.
It is a chilled beer.
It is a long fuck.

The rest of the country
is
obsessed
with calories, cars, sex and salaries.

There is nothing left in me,
but these
words.

   [ posted  @ 3:50 PM ] [ (0) comments ]