Saturday, June 12, 2004  

Correction:

There is no heaven, there is no hell. If you want to believe that feel free, but NEVER try to push that on me or anyone I love.

This has been a pretty annoying issue since I left that church, so I believe this would be a good time to clear up something rather vital. I have heard from many people the following: I left the church because I was dating a Jewish girl.

Here is a dose of truth for you: I was kicked out.

Originally, I was starting to question some of my faith. I was starting to think things that had no easy solution. I dwelt upon the matter for some time privately. Then I did seek counsel with Pastor Paul. At the time, Julie was a friend. She had a boyfriend, and I was not seeking to replace him. Everyone seemed more concern with isolating me from the outside world then with dealing with the questions I was having. At the time I was in the SONS group. I would have been hypocritical if I were to continue in that group while I was questioning myself so deeply.

I was given the option: Stay and obey OR Leave and not be welcome back into the group. That broke my heart, but I refused to be a hypocrit. It still shocks me that someone I considered such a close friend, Pastor Paul, would give me only those options and care so little about what was going on with me and so much about the appearance of the group. I left the group.

From that point forth, everyone shunned me. They treated me differently. They reacted to me as if I was plagued. There are two perhaps three people in the church that still treated me with respect. The rumors that I left the SONS group for a girl, that I was on drugs and several other rumors coming from people that had only weeks earlier claimed to love me and know me like I was their own child completely shattered the remaining faith that I had.

I left the church.

About seven months later Julie and I did begin to date. Once again though, despite what all those ignorant little gossipers will tell you, in the end I left because I was driven out. I was driven out by the majority of the church, and how they reacted to my presence. I didn't leave for a girl.

I don't expect you to believe that. No one seems to want to believe the truth. They would prefer to exist within the fairytale that they concocted regarding my leaving the church.

   [ posted  @ 11:37 PM ] [ ]