traveling is done with for now. the earliest i expect to go back into the field for work is december, and even then i am not sure. i welcome the rest, but again i'm realizing that when you aren't constantly busy you have to deal with yourself. it can be overwhelming. last time this happened i flipped out and hit the road. it was good to clear out my brain like that, but i don't think that i will be able to do that again. i have other things that i need to take care of at the moment.
what i need is to hole up somewhere, without anything planned. just sitting, thinking, listening, repeating, existing. temporarily quenching my brain's desire to reason through everything. time is what i need, time that can be used however i choose to use it. that might be some time away though, which is unfortunate.
there are some good choices that i can look back upon and be delighted. there are thousands of fuck ups that i am reminded of constantly. there is a small gap between the successes and the failures i have had in life. love is a dog from hell, i know what that means.
